A little over a year ago I quit drinking. It’s not something I’ve spent a lot of time talking about mostly because that part of my past is not something I’m exactly proud of. I love Jesus and I was drinking almost every day. It’s difficult to reconcile the two—at least for me.
So there I was, on the brink of my business exploding and I was purposely avoiding evening appointments so that I could enjoy a few drinks. It wasn’t so much the actual alcohol that was a problem for me, it was the motivation behind it. I had had my heart completely broken by several family members over the years and then one of my very best friends broke it too and I found myself looking forward to that evening drink.
Then I found myself needing that evening drink. Then I realized that I was letting my husband put the kids to bed so that I didn’t have to delay having that drink. That’s the culture we’re in right now though, isn’t it? “Mommy needs a drink”, “it’s wine time”, “this is mommy’s special juice”. I like a funny meme probably more than the average person but I started to cringe when I saw them.
I don’t think anyone wants to admit that they have a problem with alcohol. A lot of people probably don’t have a problem, but again, it was the motivation behind why I felt the need to drink that tipped me off to the issue. Was I really not able to function without alcohol? How was I going to run a multi million dollar empire if I was half in the bag by 7pm every night?
Someone I respected at the time casually mentioned at some point that she used to have a problem with alcohol and so she didn’t drink anymore and it got me thinking. Why don’t we normalize sobriety more often? Why does it feel like a dirty secret or something that we have to defend?
I don’t sit in judgment of people who drink. How could I? But because it was so profound for me when she said it, I’m going to say it too.
I had a problem with alcohol and so I don’t drink anymore. If you needed someone to normalize it so that you could admit maybe you’re struggling with it too, I hope that helped.
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