Last weekend I was cleaning up my YouTube channel and updating the graphics because dang I hadn’t even looked at them in over a year. It was time for a clean up! I was going through my videos to make sure the content was still relevant and I saw something that absolutely shocked me.
I pressed play on a video I had done in March of this year and as soon as it began, it immediately made me cry. As I watched it I was just struck by the lifelessness in my eyes. There was no sparkle, no joy, no light. My voice was monotone and the irony is that the video was about how I was living my dream life in Florida.
It’s true, one of my dreams is to live in Florida for the winter each year and return to Canada when it’s nice out again.
But I was not living my dream this year and I think I was terrified to admit it.
When I watched that video I knew I had to take a screenshot and compare it to a video I had just done. I waited to see myself smile and sadly, I never did. So I grabbed a still shot anyway and created a comparison graphic and was absolutely shocked at the difference. When I showed someone I’ve known for over twenty years, she got tears in her eyes too. You be the judge…
So what does any of this have to do with triggers? I’m so glad you asked. I was triggered hard core in Florida. I was terrified and afraid to make a wrong move and that trigger is related to my childhood. When we get triggered and react at a level ten when a level one or two is what was actually warranted, it’s an indication that something from your childhood has been left unhealed. This is a gift because you get to heal it and then you get to move on with your life no longer being triggered that way.
I was reading a really great book the other day and a quote spoke so strongly to me that I had to read it a good three or four times before I could move on.
“Anger is a very loyal friend. It will always tell us when we have been betrayed. It will always tell us when we have betrayed ourselves. It will always tell us that it is time to act in our own best interest.” – Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way)
Anger is one of those triggers for us and I have felt a lot of it in recent weeks. All this tells me is that it’s time to act in my own best interest which isn’t something I had been doing and frankly, that’s on me.
So yes, I believe that our triggers can be a gift of epic proportions because what else will show you that something from your past is unhealed and needs attention?
I think that’s beautiful and I’m here for it. If you are too, jump into my Facebook Community
and let’s heal together.